Mindfulness | Leanne French Relationship Expert & Counsellor

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2023. Resolutions Are Out. Replenishing Self Care Is In.

If you’re scanning the horizon looking for the latest emotional wellbeing trends, the predictions will come as a welcome surprise for the exhausted amongst us.

It seems that constantly trying to make sense of what’s been happening in a world filled with uncertainty, unrest and upheaval has meant we’ve spent way too much time doom scrolling and over thinking. We’ve been like meerkats on high alert, constantly bracing our brains and bodies against the storm, causing resilience fatigue.

Emotional stress depletes us and calm revives us. We need timeout to lower our heart rate and blood pressure, to calm our tummies and relax our muscles. We need to find stillness to settle everything down, to breathe easier and to soften. It’s time to surrender, to find places to vanish into, to swan about in, and if that means spending more time in our bathtub dressed as a merperson, eating plant based ice cream listening to music, so be it. It seems we are all so over having to be strong that we’re more than ready to welcome in these stress banishing S words for 2023.

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Tags: clearhead, covid19, EAP, EAP Counsellor, emotional wellbeing trends, Joy, Leanne French Counsellor, liftmode, mental health trends 2023, mermaids, neurolift, New Year 2023, NZ Relationship Expert, ocp, resilience fatigue, stress relief, telehealth counsellor, therapist, trends for 2023

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Categories Compassion, Counselling, Covid-19, Health, Holiday celebrations, Hope, Kindness, Mindfulness, New beginnings, Resilience, Self-care, Self-love, Wellbeing

Going Damp? Mindfulness, Moderation & Mocktails.

8 Dec

Is the “damp” lifestyle trend on Tik Tok a fresh new thing in the world of drinking or is it just a rebrand of controlled drinking; a reliable, reputable method of moderation with far reaching benefits?

Whatever it is, if you look beyond the delivery system you’ll see that TikToker @hana.elson has 2 million likes and 37,300 followers who are being influenced by her “it’s cool to be moderate” message. They’re a new, mostly youthful audience who are ready to hear “that drinking culture and your relationship with alcohol does not have to be black or white, all or nothing.” Hana says it’s an “action plan” to “drink with the mindset of the next day” which I think slots nicely into the current wellness movement.

Someone was bound to coin a new phrase. I’d thought of “moistly moderate” (cue the laughter) but that was never going to catch on was it!

It’s really about deciding to drink alcohol less often and less excessively.

It’s an option I use with clients who want to get more curious and explore the who, what, when, how and why behind their drinking to help inform and drive their decisions and behaviours.

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Tags: Damp drinking, damp lifestyle, hana.elson, Leanne French Counsellor, low and no alcohol substitutes, mindful drinking, moderate drinking, nz drinking culture, responsible drinking, telehealth counsellor, tik toker hana elson, wellbeing behavioural change

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Categories Addiction, Health, Mindfulness, New beginnings, Self-care, Wellbeing

Setting Boundaries Protects Our Energy.

24 Aug

I think healthy boundaries are about reciprocal respect. They include setting up and communicating reasonable, clear expectations of acceptable ways for other people to behave towards us that contribute to feeling safe, supported and valued.

Imagine crouching under one of those slightly dented, aluminium colanders with a lot of holes. That’s kind of what my boundaries looked like when I was a kid.

When I first learnt about boundaries as a young therapist, I replaced that colander with a magnificent castle on a lush flower-filled island, surrounded by a moat, filled with snapping piranhas. I installed a drawbridge that only I could lift or lower because after all, the most important boundary a person can set, is limiting their availability. I also created a shield with light, bullet proof, glittery glass bricks, because the goal of boundaries is to be protected and stay connected at the same time.

My boundaries might seem like a fortress to some, but they serve to keep me clear, focused, more tolerant, and compassionately away from resentment.

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Tags: Beliefs, Boundaries, Boundary setting, childhood trauma, covid19, dread, emotional regulation, healthy connections, Leanne French Counsellor, Mangawhai Counsellor, needs and wants, Northland relationship counsellor, NZ Relationship Expert, personality disordered, rage, Respect, stress reduction, telehealth counsellor, therapist, Toxic relationships, values, Why are boundaries important

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Categories Addiction, Boundaries, Communication, Conflict resolution, Counselling, Covid-19, Gossip, Gratitude, Health, Kindness, Mindfulness, Raising children, Relationship advice, Self-care, Toxic Friendships, Wellbeing

Wellbeing is Trending for 2022

30 Dec

“Wellness is the complete integration of body, mind and spirit. The realisation that everything we do, think, feel and believe has an effect on our wellbeing” Greg Anderson.

Covid-19 wins the prize for being the most uncontrollable source of sustained stress in 2021. Just as double vaxxes offered up glimpses of hope for relaxed freedoms, a new variant slid in just in time for NZ’s summer holiday season.

At least there’s always a positive spin off from a global crisis. It’s motivated a desire to increase overall wellbeing in 2022, for ourselves, each other and the planet.

Research tells us that a prolonged pandemic elevates mental health needs, even if we don’t catch the virus. As a team of 5 million, we’ve done pretty well at following health directives, attempting to reduce emotional strain and focusing on what we can control, over what we can’t.

How we live, work, use technology, shop, connect and socialise and how we receive care have all been jiggled around and thought about deeply, unless one has been living under a rock or tin foil hat.

Even though some of us prefer a less overloaded society, not being able to see special people is hard, and sludging through restrictions, super strong opinions, dangerous viewpoints and crazy behaviours can get tiresome. Resilient people are better able to cope with trying circumstances, so increasing wellbeing expands happiness, optimism and meaning in life.

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Tags: all birds, apple watch, Covid-19, covid19, drink almighty, ecosa pillows, emotional health, gender neutral, improve wellbeing, Leanne French Counsellor, lockdown, micropod nz, mindful drinking, Northland relationship counsellor, NZ Relationship Expert, pandemic emotional wellbeing, pandemics, plant body solution, sober curious, state of grace, strengthen immune system, telehealth counsellor, trends for 2022, turbo tonics

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Categories Addiction, Covid-19, Gratitude, Health, Mindfulness, New beginnings, Save the World, Self-care, Wellbeing

Reaching For Booze & Food in Lockdown?

1 Sep

Photo by **Pavel Danilyuk** from **Pexels**

Usually we know deep within ourselves if what we are reaching for is either good for us or less good!

Do the usual rules and routines feel a bit like they’ve flown out the window in lockdown? And, who is around to hold us accountable? Just because we might be able to wear pyjamas or elastic waist pants, probably doesn’t mean we shouldn’t consider how many calories, and how much fat and sugar might be hiding in tempting treats.

Social media is normalising baking up a storm. Our feeds are full of it. There’s quarantini parties and invitations to join happy hour online. We might have to ask if we want to join the pack, or lead it? Just because everyone is doing it, doesn’t mean we have to. Social media is normalising baking up a storm. Our feeds are full of it. There’s quarantini parties and invitations to join happy hour online. We might have to ask if we want to join the pack, or lead it? Just because everyone is doing it, doesn’t mean we have to. Maybe it’s a better idea to limit or be more conscious of what we’re consuming and be kinder to our immune systems at a time they really need support?

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Tags: Addiction, Covid 19, Dependence, Leanne French Counsellor, lockdown, Mangawhai Counsellor, NZ Relationship Expert, Overindulging in lockdown, telehealth counsellor

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Categories Addiction, Covid-19, Health, Mindfulness, Resilience, Self-care

13 Simple Ways to Relieve Overwhelm.

12 May

You can’t calm the storm, so stop trying, What you can do is calm yourself. The storm will pass. Timber Hawkeye.

Overwhelm can arrive when something triggers a powerful emotion in us; especially fear, which can then flood our mind with paralysing negative thoughts and emotions, and change our posture, breath and ability to cope.

It’s really important to be curious about our thought patterns, and to claw back some control because once negative thoughts overly take hold in our mind, they’re likely to distort the severity of our situation and have us focusing on dramatic consequences.

Emotional overwhelm occurs when the intensity of our feelings outmatches our ability to manage them. It can come from a single big stressor, like a pandemic. Or financial issues. Trying to make ends meet is probably number one in the list for tipping many people over the edge. Others find that overwhelm sweeps in like a tidal wave, brought on from a bunch of challenges like life transitions and losses that come at us one after the other.

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Tags: grief, Leanne French Counsellor, loss, Mangawhai Counsellor, money struggles, Northland relationship counsellor, overwhelm, pandemic, self soothe, stress, telehealth counsellor, transition

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Categories Counselling, Covid-19, Health, Mindfulness, New beginnings, Self-care

Tend and Cherish.

27 Apr

As the sorrow of sickness and silence spread, the stop sign rose and asked us to sit, together but apart, to be guests of nature and lend our ears to the birdsong, chirping crickets and intuition, instead of the usual roar of engines and economic hum.

We were asked to sit until remorse replaced restlessness so we could thrust aside mountainous obsessions of waste, and refuse to be swallowed up by inexhaustible convenience, coveted commodities and take aways that take away deeper nourishment, and to wait for the rise of bread, instead.

Sit they said, with blinders off as industry cools and hearts and homes are warmed. Wait until expectation is traded for appreciation so it becomes easier to undertake a scaled back, survival stock take, where love and local livelihood is supported and we embrace the significant and sustainable.

Sit and replace swelling fears of toils and troubles with soap and bubbles. Then with lion heart courage, forge forward, with fragility, onto the path of goodwill, into a morally determined destiny and consciously cultivate kindness for all of us endangered ones, here upon our enchanted earth.

Poem Tend & Cherish by Leanne French as I contemplate the last day of Level 4 Lockdown in New Zealand and somewhat lament the loss of the quietest earth day experienced in my lifetime.

Thanks so much to my beloved husband Wolfie for the fabulous daily graphics he’s made for me.

Tags: climate emergency, contemplating the end of level 4 lockdown, corona virus, covid19, Leanne French Counsellor, Mangawhai Counsellor, Northland relationship counsellor, NZ Relationship Expert, poem, poetry, save the earth, telehealth counsellor, tend and cherish

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Categories Compassion, Covid-19, Gratitude, Kindness, Mindfulness, New beginnings, Save the World

Let’s All Be Better Humans.

26 Apr

Beyond thinking about how to stop microbe movement and economic downfalls, will we also think more about respect and empathy? Can we create a new vision of a better world, for ourselves, our community, our environment and for our beautiful earth? My hope is that we will mindfully pay more attention to the wee glimpses we have of a future where we know what we want and need, and then work towards making many tiny incremental changes so all creatures can flourish. Let’s make our future ancestors proud.

Tags: Leanne French Counsellor, let's all be better humans, Mangawhai Counsellor, NZ Relationship Expert, Save the World, telehealth counsellor

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Categories Compassion, Counselling, Covid-19, Health, Kindness, Mindfulness, New beginnings, Save the World

Embrace The Journey.

21 Apr

As you journey down the path, don’t forget to be present moment-by-moment and absorb the beauty and richness of simply being alive. Cary David Richards, The Happiness Habit.

Tags: being present, corona virus emotional wellbeing, embrace the journey, how to emotionally manage isolation, Mindfulness

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Categories Covid-19, Health, Mindfulness, Save the World, Self-care

Reflect. Review. Revise.

20 Apr

Day_026k

Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes. Carl Jung.

A bit of soul-searching never goes amiss for those of us who like an opportunity for personal development.

Surfing and forest bathing are excellent contemplation activities but it’s another week until we can splash and wander so why not unplug, switch off autopilot, seek solitude and from a curious standpoint, reflect on what has happened to us, the world, those we love, and our place within all of it.

When we explore and process our experience, we gain a new appreciation and understanding of who we are, what we Continue reading →

Tags: contemplation, corona virus emotional wellbeing, covid19, how to emotionally manage isolation, Introspection, self reflection, Therapy