Wellbeing | Leanne French Relationship Expert & Counsellor

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2023. Resolutions Are Out. Replenishing Self Care Is In.

If you’re scanning the horizon looking for the latest emotional wellbeing trends, the predictions will come as a welcome surprise for the exhausted amongst us.

It seems that constantly trying to make sense of what’s been happening in a world filled with uncertainty, unrest and upheaval has meant we’ve spent way too much time doom scrolling and over thinking. We’ve been like meerkats on high alert, constantly bracing our brains and bodies against the storm, causing resilience fatigue.

Emotional stress depletes us and calm revives us. We need timeout to lower our heart rate and blood pressure, to calm our tummies and relax our muscles. We need to find stillness to settle everything down, to breathe easier and to soften. It’s time to surrender, to find places to vanish into, to swan about in, and if that means spending more time in our bathtub dressed as a merperson, eating plant based ice cream listening to music, so be it. It seems we are all so over having to be strong that we’re more than ready to welcome in these stress banishing S words for 2023.

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Tags: clearhead, covid19, EAP, EAP Counsellor, emotional wellbeing trends, Joy, Leanne French Counsellor, liftmode, mental health trends 2023, mermaids, neurolift, New Year 2023, NZ Relationship Expert, ocp, resilience fatigue, stress relief, telehealth counsellor, therapist, trends for 2023

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Categories Compassion, Counselling, Covid-19, Health, Holiday celebrations, Hope, Kindness, Mindfulness, New beginnings, Resilience, Self-care, Self-love, Wellbeing

Going Damp? Mindfulness, Moderation & Mocktails.

8 Dec

Is the “damp” lifestyle trend on Tik Tok a fresh new thing in the world of drinking or is it just a rebrand of controlled drinking; a reliable, reputable method of moderation with far reaching benefits?

Whatever it is, if you look beyond the delivery system you’ll see that TikToker @hana.elson has 2 million likes and 37,300 followers who are being influenced by her “it’s cool to be moderate” message. They’re a new, mostly youthful audience who are ready to hear “that drinking culture and your relationship with alcohol does not have to be black or white, all or nothing.” Hana says it’s an “action plan” to “drink with the mindset of the next day” which I think slots nicely into the current wellness movement.

Someone was bound to coin a new phrase. I’d thought of “moistly moderate” (cue the laughter) but that was never going to catch on was it!

It’s really about deciding to drink alcohol less often and less excessively.

It’s an option I use with clients who want to get more curious and explore the who, what, when, how and why behind their drinking to help inform and drive their decisions and behaviours.

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Tags: Damp drinking, damp lifestyle, hana.elson, Leanne French Counsellor, low and no alcohol substitutes, mindful drinking, moderate drinking, nz drinking culture, responsible drinking, telehealth counsellor, tik toker hana elson, wellbeing behavioural change

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Categories Addiction, Health, Mindfulness, New beginnings, Self-care, Wellbeing

Setting Boundaries Protects Our Energy.

24 Aug

I think healthy boundaries are about reciprocal respect. They include setting up and communicating reasonable, clear expectations of acceptable ways for other people to behave towards us that contribute to feeling safe, supported and valued.

Imagine crouching under one of those slightly dented, aluminium colanders with a lot of holes. That’s kind of what my boundaries looked like when I was a kid.

When I first learnt about boundaries as a young therapist, I replaced that colander with a magnificent castle on a lush flower-filled island, surrounded by a moat, filled with snapping piranhas. I installed a drawbridge that only I could lift or lower because after all, the most important boundary a person can set, is limiting their availability. I also created a shield with light, bullet proof, glittery glass bricks, because the goal of boundaries is to be protected and stay connected at the same time.

My boundaries might seem like a fortress to some, but they serve to keep me clear, focused, more tolerant, and compassionately away from resentment.

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Tags: Beliefs, Boundaries, Boundary setting, childhood trauma, covid19, dread, emotional regulation, healthy connections, Leanne French Counsellor, Mangawhai Counsellor, needs and wants, Northland relationship counsellor, NZ Relationship Expert, personality disordered, rage, Respect, stress reduction, telehealth counsellor, therapist, Toxic relationships, values, Why are boundaries important

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Categories Addiction, Boundaries, Communication, Conflict resolution, Counselling, Covid-19, Gossip, Gratitude, Health, Kindness, Mindfulness, Raising children, Relationship advice, Self-care, Toxic Friendships, Wellbeing

Why Hope is Helpful in Hurtful Situations.

20 Jul

Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today. Thich Nhat Hanh

I don’t think I’m alone in noticing that hostility and adversity are creeping into our collective culture more and more.

When other humans dump either of those on our doorstep, it’s such an unwelcome package. Being the recipient of threatening, thoughtless, hurtful or selfish behaviour wrapped up with string is a good time to think about Marcus Aurelius, Philosopher and Roman Emperor (121—180 C.E.) and what he wrote in Meditations about the pitfalls of human behaviour; “When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous and surly.”

To be fair, in the practice of positive psychology, where both the good and bad parts of life are equally genuine, it’s also good to remind ourselves that although people can be horrible and the news media hardly ever reports on goodness and social media might not leave us feeling content, in our real life there’s usually an abundance of good deeds, good behaviour and lovely people who display and offer honesty, justice, loyalty, decency, trustworthiness, kindness, charity, reliability, appropriateness and warmth. Let’s all take a moment to be grateful for them.

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Tags: Boundaries, hostility and adversity, how to respond to difficult situations, Leanne French Counsellor, Mangawhai Counsellor, negative media, NZ Relationship Expert, positive psychology, Resilience, suffering, telehealth counsellor, why hope is important

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Categories Boundaries, Bullying, Conflict resolution, Counselling, Hope, Resilience, Wellbeing

Wellbeing is Trending for 2022

30 Dec

“Wellness is the complete integration of body, mind and spirit. The realisation that everything we do, think, feel and believe has an effect on our wellbeing” Greg Anderson.

Covid-19 wins the prize for being the most uncontrollable source of sustained stress in 2021. Just as double vaxxes offered up glimpses of hope for relaxed freedoms, a new variant slid in just in time for NZ’s summer holiday season.

At least there’s always a positive spin off from a global crisis. It’s motivated a desire to increase overall wellbeing in 2022, for ourselves, each other and the planet.

Research tells us that a prolonged pandemic elevates mental health needs, even if we don’t catch the virus. As a team of 5 million, we’ve done pretty well at following health directives, attempting to reduce emotional strain and focusing on what we can control, over what we can’t.

How we live, work, use technology, shop, connect and socialise and how we receive care have all been jiggled around and thought about deeply, unless one has been living under a rock or tin foil hat.

Even though some of us prefer a less overloaded society, not being able to see special people is hard, and sludging through restrictions, super strong opinions, dangerous viewpoints and crazy behaviours can get tiresome. Resilient people are better able to cope with trying circumstances, so increasing wellbeing expands happiness, optimism and meaning in life.

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Tags: all birds, apple watch, Covid-19, covid19, drink almighty, ecosa pillows, emotional health, gender neutral, improve wellbeing, Leanne French Counsellor, lockdown, micropod nz, mindful drinking, Northland relationship counsellor, NZ Relationship Expert, pandemic emotional wellbeing, pandemics, plant body solution, sober curious, state of grace, strengthen immune system, telehealth counsellor, trends for 2022, turbo tonics