Archive | Big Bad Wolf RSS feed for this section

Why Fairytales Are Good For Grown Ups.

7 Nov

“To be attracted to or repelled by a fairy tale indicates that the story contains something that resonates with an unconscious process in the reader or listener, for one cannot be attracted or repelled unless one recognizes something that is personally meaningful.” -Meredith B Mitchell.

Fairytales parallel common human conditions. They resonate deep within us in emotionally creative ways and invite us into illogical, impractical, unrealistic, wonderful and terrifying worlds where good opposes evil, magic exists, and animals transform into people.

Because a fairytale is a story with a simple plot, stereotypical characters, universal themes, with elements of ideas and imagery from a vast array of human experiences that we can identify with, they are a perfect and safe playground for us to explore our own thoughts, feelings and behaviours.

Fairytales tell us all about all kinds of relationships. Just look at Continue reading

My What Big Ears You Have…

26 Apr

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”  Stephen R. Covey.

How to NOT listen:

  • zone out
  • ignore details
  • be impatient
  • control or compete
  • hear what you YOU expect to hear based on assumption, stereotype or prejudice

How to REALLY listen:

  • focus
  • pay attention and remove distractions
  • patiently appreciate their effort to communicate
  • listen with your ears, eyes and heart so as to grasp the basic message and the feeling and meaning behind it, along with the unsaid
  • if you aren’t sure of the deeper message, seek clarification by asking gentle questions like ” When you said…what did you actually mean?”
  • when do you understand, take the time to reflect back what you have heard so he or she can process and hear their own thoughts e.g “Sounds like you’re really hungry Mr Wolf.”

When we use our ears to listen with an intent to understand, we:

  • absorb the words and allow them to bounce around in us until they sink in enough to touch our feelings and create meaning
  • turn on compassion
  • open our hearts in the present moment
  • make the other person feel heard and validated
  • create an environment of emotional safety and,
  • hopefully avoid being gobbled up.

How are your listening skills?

 

Less Of The Big Bad Wolf.

21 Dec

With Christmas nearly upon us, I am mindful that extra stress, added pressures and a lot of time spent in each others company (often in confined quarters), can sometimes turn those already struggling to restrain their snappy selves, into snarling Big Bad Wolves.

Incredible art from Soju Shots

Incredible art from Soju Shots

Here’s my wisdom for you wrapped up in a big red bow:  If we continue to concentrate on the things that other people do to annoy, irritate or aggravate us, and if we highlight and chew over it long enough, it magnifies a problem and leads to more Continue reading