
Illustrated by Clementine Sourdais.
1. We focus on what’s wrong rather than acknowledging and growing what’s right.
Ruminating on annoyances never makes them magically disappear. Instead we need to consciously manage our own reactions, responses and behaviours by curiously wondering what gets triggered within us when we feel wronged or annoyed. Or we could choose to just step away and skip merrily on our way, sidestepping obstacles. The more we involve ourselves in tasks that propel us forward and make us feel good, the better. See if you can stop, breathe, count to five and remind yourself of the value your loved ones add to your life.
2. We criticise rather than praise behaviours or affirm competence.
Think about how it feels when you have your less than fabulous traits pointed out to you in a way that doesn’t invite healthy discussion, kindness or creative solutions. People are so much more ready to give negative feedback than positive, and are likely to tell all who will listen about bad service rather than yell thanks from the rooftops about great service. Let’s all aim to spread more kindness around. Acknowledge. Affirm. Praise. Give Continue reading →
Tags: Anger management, Communication, Conflict resolution, Leanne French Counsellor, Mangawhai Counsellor, Northland relationship counsellor, NZ Relationship Expert, Relationships, Self-care, telehealth counsellor