covid19 | Leanne French Relationship Expert & Counsellor

Tag Archives: covid19

2023. Resolutions Are Out. Replenishing Self Care Is In.

If you’re scanning the horizon looking for the latest emotional wellbeing trends, the predictions will come as a welcome surprise for the exhausted amongst us.

It seems that constantly trying to make sense of what’s been happening in a world filled with uncertainty, unrest and upheaval has meant we’ve spent way too much time doom scrolling and over thinking. We’ve been like meerkats on high alert, constantly bracing our brains and bodies against the storm, causing resilience fatigue.

Emotional stress depletes us and calm revives us. We need timeout to lower our heart rate and blood pressure, to calm our tummies and relax our muscles. We need to find stillness to settle everything down, to breathe easier and to soften. It’s time to surrender, to find places to vanish into, to swan about in, and if that means spending more time in our bathtub dressed as a merperson, eating plant based ice cream listening to music, so be it. It seems we are all so over having to be strong that we’re more than ready to welcome in these stress banishing S words for 2023.

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Tags: clearhead, covid19, EAP, EAP Counsellor, emotional wellbeing trends, Joy, Leanne French Counsellor, liftmode, mental health trends 2023, mermaids, neurolift, New Year 2023, NZ Relationship Expert, ocp, resilience fatigue, stress relief, telehealth counsellor, therapist, trends for 2023

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Categories Compassion, Counselling, Covid-19, Health, Holiday celebrations, Hope, Kindness, Mindfulness, New beginnings, Resilience, Self-care, Self-love, Wellbeing

Setting Boundaries Protects Our Energy.

24 Aug

I think healthy boundaries are about reciprocal respect. They include setting up and communicating reasonable, clear expectations of acceptable ways for other people to behave towards us that contribute to feeling safe, supported and valued.

Imagine crouching under one of those slightly dented, aluminium colanders with a lot of holes. That’s kind of what my boundaries looked like when I was a kid.

When I first learnt about boundaries as a young therapist, I replaced that colander with a magnificent castle on a lush flower-filled island, surrounded by a moat, filled with snapping piranhas. I installed a drawbridge that only I could lift or lower because after all, the most important boundary a person can set, is limiting their availability. I also created a shield with light, bullet proof, glittery glass bricks, because the goal of boundaries is to be protected and stay connected at the same time.

My boundaries might seem like a fortress to some, but they serve to keep me clear, focused, more tolerant, and compassionately away from resentment.

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Tags: Beliefs, Boundaries, Boundary setting, childhood trauma, covid19, dread, emotional regulation, healthy connections, Leanne French Counsellor, Mangawhai Counsellor, needs and wants, Northland relationship counsellor, NZ Relationship Expert, personality disordered, rage, Respect, stress reduction, telehealth counsellor, therapist, Toxic relationships, values, Why are boundaries important

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Categories Addiction, Boundaries, Communication, Conflict resolution, Counselling, Covid-19, Gossip, Gratitude, Health, Kindness, Mindfulness, Raising children, Relationship advice, Self-care, Toxic Friendships, Wellbeing

Wellbeing is Trending for 2022

30 Dec

“Wellness is the complete integration of body, mind and spirit. The realisation that everything we do, think, feel and believe has an effect on our wellbeing” Greg Anderson.

Covid-19 wins the prize for being the most uncontrollable source of sustained stress in 2021. Just as double vaxxes offered up glimpses of hope for relaxed freedoms, a new variant slid in just in time for NZ’s summer holiday season.

At least there’s always a positive spin off from a global crisis. It’s motivated a desire to increase overall wellbeing in 2022, for ourselves, each other and the planet.

Research tells us that a prolonged pandemic elevates mental health needs, even if we don’t catch the virus. As a team of 5 million, we’ve done pretty well at following health directives, attempting to reduce emotional strain and focusing on what we can control, over what we can’t.

How we live, work, use technology, shop, connect and socialise and how we receive care have all been jiggled around and thought about deeply, unless one has been living under a rock or tin foil hat.

Even though some of us prefer a less overloaded society, not being able to see special people is hard, and sludging through restrictions, super strong opinions, dangerous viewpoints and crazy behaviours can get tiresome. Resilient people are better able to cope with trying circumstances, so increasing wellbeing expands happiness, optimism and meaning in life.

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Tags: all birds, apple watch, Covid-19, covid19, drink almighty, ecosa pillows, emotional health, gender neutral, improve wellbeing, Leanne French Counsellor, lockdown, micropod nz, mindful drinking, Northland relationship counsellor, NZ Relationship Expert, pandemic emotional wellbeing, pandemics, plant body solution, sober curious, state of grace, strengthen immune system, telehealth counsellor, trends for 2022, turbo tonics

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Categories Addiction, Covid-19, Gratitude, Health, Mindfulness, New beginnings, Save the World, Self-care, Wellbeing

Surviving Love in Lockdown. 10 Top Relationship Tips.

8 May

What if you’ve discovered you’re not one of those resilient couples, sheltering in place, strengthening bonds, feeling loved up and loving it? What if your version has been six hideous weeks of groundhog day in inescapable confinement, filled with endless stress, brick wall arguments, unworkable arrangements and mind-numbing chores? If you’re desperate to burst your bubble and run for the hills, don’t add to the pessimistic divorce and break-up statistics, these are extraordinary circumstances.

Uncertainty spews forth a range of challenges, from financial pressures to burdens like working from home while also caring full time for children. Take away all the welcome distractions that used to exist in life before Covid, and you’ve got a source of tension even in the strongest of relationships.

For relationships cracking at the seams, although it may feel hopeless, it doesn’t have to be. Why not reframe it? Think of it as a fast track opportunity for growth because adversity Continue reading →

Tags: 10 top relationship tips, 10 top tips to survive love in lockdown, covid19, covid19 and relationships, how to emotionally manage isolation, how to make sure your relationship survives lockdown, how to strengthen your relationship, Leanne French Counsellor, love in lockdown, Mangawhai Counsellor, Northland relationship counsellor, NZ Relationship Expert, relationship expert, restrictions strain relationships, telehealth counsellor

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Categories Communication, Conflict resolution, Counselling, Covid-19, Kindness, Relationship advice

Tend and Cherish.

27 Apr

As the sorrow of sickness and silence spread, the stop sign rose and asked us to sit, together but apart, to be guests of nature and lend our ears to the birdsong, chirping crickets and intuition, instead of the usual roar of engines and economic hum.

We were asked to sit until remorse replaced restlessness so we could thrust aside mountainous obsessions of waste, and refuse to be swallowed up by inexhaustible convenience, coveted commodities and take aways that take away deeper nourishment, and to wait for the rise of bread, instead.

Sit they said, with blinders off as industry cools and hearts and homes are warmed. Wait until expectation is traded for appreciation so it becomes easier to undertake a scaled back, survival stock take, where love and local livelihood is supported and we embrace the significant and sustainable.

Sit and replace swelling fears of toils and troubles with soap and bubbles. Then with lion heart courage, forge forward, with fragility, onto the path of goodwill, into a morally determined destiny and consciously cultivate kindness for all of us endangered ones, here upon our enchanted earth.

Poem Tend & Cherish by Leanne French as I contemplate the last day of Level 4 Lockdown in New Zealand and somewhat lament the loss of the quietest earth day experienced in my lifetime.

Thanks so much to my beloved husband Wolfie for the fabulous daily graphics he’s made for me.

Tags: climate emergency, contemplating the end of level 4 lockdown, corona virus, covid19, Leanne French Counsellor, Mangawhai Counsellor, Northland relationship counsellor, NZ Relationship Expert, poem, poetry, save the earth, telehealth counsellor, tend and cherish

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Categories Compassion, Covid-19, Gratitude, Kindness, Mindfulness, New beginnings, Save the World

Same Storm. Different Boat.

22 Apr

While Mahatma Gandhi once said Dignity of human nature requires that we must face the storms of life, this present storm, the way we face it and the impact it will have on each and every one of us, will be incredibly diverse.

In the midst of disruption, there are commonalities. Heightened reactions, moments of confusion and clarity, and concern for safety and security. Human nature dictates we do what we can to save ourselves and then look around to offer a (socially distanced) helping hand.

We react in a thousand different ways because how we think, feel, act, need, want, hate, love and believe, stem from a huge variety of factors from our past experience, our resilience, the extent of support we have available, the size of our bank account, to where we’re positioned physically, socially, economically and emotionally.

While some may have anchored calmly, and others adjusted their sails towards rainbows and pots of gold, we cannot underestimate the emotional gale and financial swirl that this storm has brought upon many. Continue reading →

Tags: acts of kindness, Compassion, corona virus emotional wellbeing, covid19, Hope, Kindness, Leanne French Counsellor, making judgements, Mangawhai Counsellor, Northland relationship counsellor, Same storm different boats, storms, telehealth counsellor, Therapy, tolerance

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Categories Compassion, Conflict resolution, Covid-19, Health, Kindness, New beginnings, Resilience, Save the World, Self-care, Self-love

Reflect. Review. Revise.

20 Apr

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Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes. Carl Jung.

A bit of soul-searching never goes amiss for those of us who like an opportunity for personal development.

Surfing and forest bathing are excellent contemplation activities but it’s another week until we can splash and wander so why not unplug, switch off autopilot, seek solitude and from a curious standpoint, reflect on what has happened to us, the world, those we love, and our place within all of it.

When we explore and process our experience, we gain a new appreciation and understanding of who we are, what we Continue reading →

Tags: contemplation, corona virus emotional wellbeing, covid19, how to emotionally manage isolation, Introspection, self reflection, Therapy

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Categories Counselling, Covid-19, Health, Mindfulness, Save the World, Self-care

Stay Strong & Trust The Wait.

19 Apr

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. Martin Luther King Jr.

The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it open. Arnold Glasow.

Tags: acceptance, corona virus emotional wellbeing, courage, covid19, determination, embrace the now, focus, patience, Resilience, stay in the bubble, stay strong, trust the wait

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Categories Covid-19, Health, Resilience, Save the World, Self-care

Believe In Magic.

17 Apr

Wisdom whispers calmly. It sometimes appears as emotional or physical sensations in our body. When we purposefully look and ask the universe for guidance, answers can show up as synchronicity and co-incidence. Whispers speak from our unconscious and they surface in our nightly dreams. Whispers contain solutions to our questions and they allow our daydreams to bubble to the surface.

Throw all of those meaningful messages into a cauldron. Mix in a dash of intuition, add a dose of practicality, and stir well until clarity appears. Boil down until decisive choices that stem from a deeper knowing emerge, and you will Continue reading →

Tags: angel guidance, believe in magic, caring for yourself in lockdown, corona virus emotional wellbeing, covid19, dream therapy, finding direction, guardian angels, higher power, how to emotionally manage isolation, intuition, magic, spirit messages, universal guidance, whispers of wisdom

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Categories Angels, New beginnings, Self-care, Spiritual Journey

Grow Through What You Go Through.

16 Apr

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Times like this can really make or break us. Never before as a nation, have we ever been in the situation we’re in. Essential and frontline workers are literally putting their lives on the line while some parents probably wish they could hang their children on the line.

It’s all about flattening the curve. It’s not a competition. We get that. It’s not about being the fittest or most fabulous. Some will moan, others will motivate. It doesn’t have to include a bake off or a dance off, but if it does and people enjoy it, let’s remember to be kind.

Some people are really sick, others are afraid of becoming sick. Some are Continue reading →

Tags: corona virus emotional wellbeing, Covid-19, covid19, Grow through what you go through, how to manage isolation, Reach out for help when you need it