Self-love | Leanne French Relationship Expert & Counsellor

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2023. Resolutions Are Out. Replenishing Self Care Is In.

If you’re scanning the horizon looking for the latest emotional wellbeing trends, the predictions will come as a welcome surprise for the exhausted amongst us.

It seems that constantly trying to make sense of what’s been happening in a world filled with uncertainty, unrest and upheaval has meant we’ve spent way too much time doom scrolling and over thinking. We’ve been like meerkats on high alert, constantly bracing our brains and bodies against the storm, causing resilience fatigue.

Emotional stress depletes us and calm revives us. We need timeout to lower our heart rate and blood pressure, to calm our tummies and relax our muscles. We need to find stillness to settle everything down, to breathe easier and to soften. It’s time to surrender, to find places to vanish into, to swan about in, and if that means spending more time in our bathtub dressed as a merperson, eating plant based ice cream listening to music, so be it. It seems we are all so over having to be strong that we’re more than ready to welcome in these stress banishing S words for 2023.

Continue reading →

Tags: clearhead, covid19, EAP, EAP Counsellor, emotional wellbeing trends, Joy, Leanne French Counsellor, liftmode, mental health trends 2023, mermaids, neurolift, New Year 2023, NZ Relationship Expert, ocp, resilience fatigue, stress relief, telehealth counsellor, therapist, trends for 2023

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Categories Compassion, Counselling, Covid-19, Health, Holiday celebrations, Hope, Kindness, Mindfulness, New beginnings, Resilience, Self-care, Self-love, Wellbeing

Same Storm. Different Boat.

22 Apr

While Mahatma Gandhi once said Dignity of human nature requires that we must face the storms of life, this present storm, the way we face it and the impact it will have on each and every one of us, will be incredibly diverse.

In the midst of disruption, there are commonalities. Heightened reactions, moments of confusion and clarity, and concern for safety and security. Human nature dictates we do what we can to save ourselves and then look around to offer a (socially distanced) helping hand.

We react in a thousand different ways because how we think, feel, act, need, want, hate, love and believe, stem from a huge variety of factors from our past experience, our resilience, the extent of support we have available, the size of our bank account, to where we’re positioned physically, socially, economically and emotionally.

While some may have anchored calmly, and others adjusted their sails towards rainbows and pots of gold, we cannot underestimate the emotional gale and financial swirl that this storm has brought upon many. Continue reading →

Tags: acts of kindness, Compassion, corona virus emotional wellbeing, covid19, Hope, Kindness, Leanne French Counsellor, making judgements, Mangawhai Counsellor, Northland relationship counsellor, Same storm different boats, storms, telehealth counsellor, Therapy, tolerance

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Categories Compassion, Conflict resolution, Covid-19, Health, Kindness, New beginnings, Resilience, Save the World, Self-care, Self-love

Kindness is Cool.

14 Apr

Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelms the world. Desmond Tutu.

In these uncertain times, acts of kindness, gentle words, praise, encouragement, warm smiles, considerate behaviours, helpfulness and thoughtfulness are more important than ever.

Co-operating with lockdown rules is an act of united kindness. We’re all in this together, doing our bit, for the greater good.

Kindness not only magically lifts the spirits of those giving and receiving, but even onlookers to kindness have increased levels of the happiness hormone in their brain.

We can be of service to humanity in many different sized ways. It doesn’t have to Continue reading →

Tags: caring for yourself in lockdown, corona virus emotional wellbeing, Covid-19, covid19, Kindness, Kindness is cool, Relationships

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Categories Compassion, Covid-19, Gratitude, Health, Kindness, Relationship advice, Save the World, Self-love

Rest. Relax. Recharge.

5 Apr

If we want to live a wholehearted life, we have to become intentional about cultivating rest and play, and we must work to let go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self worth. Brene Brown.

Rest is when we shift from deliberate and effort filled thinking, to a more effortless, playful, peaceful, aimless wandering and daydreaming state.

Rest lowers our heart rate, stress and shoulders.

One of the most interesting things about rest is that it’s usually about carving out a wee chunk of solitary time, versus relaxing, which is able to be done in the Continue reading →

Tags: caring for yourself in lockdown, corona virus emotional wellbeing, covid19, goodness influencer, how to manage isolation, rest, restoring balance, therapist

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Categories Covid-19, Health, Mindfulness, Self-care, Self-love

Tend and Befriend. Why Being Kind to Yourself Matters.

29 Mar

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Think of the last time someone criticized you, put you down, expressed disapproval or treated you poorly. Don’t linger on it though, because chances are it wasn’t very motivational or uplifting. Why? Because it’s demoralizing, elevates stress hormones, increases emotional reactivity, robs us of peace of mind and greatly reduces the quality of our day.

How dare they right? Well, how dare we do it to ourselves either! It’s like choosing a punishment over a reward.

In this unprecedented time we may have a lot more time by ourselves and Continue reading →

Tags: be kind to yourself, covid19, goodness influencer, how to manage isolation, Kindness, Leanne French Counsellor, tend and befriend, therapist, why being kind to yourself matters

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Categories Covid-19, Health, Kindness, Self-care, Self-love

7 Ways To Begin To Renovate Your Life.

14 Mar

Circling Horses by Cassia Beck

If life feels stale around the edges, a lot of stuff is going wrong, others are being critical and competitive, friendships seem to be falling to the curb like flies, and normal activities begin to feel like swimming through thick fog, it could to time to change things up.

Often people will grin and bear it, grit their teeth, grind their teeth at night, and push on regardless, which is fine for a short time, just not a long time as it can compound the difficulties. Sometimes what we resist persists. When negativity outweighs positivity and it’s closing in on you from the outside and you have taken personal responsibility, searched deep within and tried many things that just aren’t working, or no one is listening or supporting you, or worse still blaming you, close the door and open another. Sometimes it’s actually not your fault. Sometimes you wake up and realise that you aren’t surrounded by your tribe. Or you realise that your shine and sparkle is being dulled in order to make someone else feel more adequate. Step away from determination and move closer to joy. Continue reading →

Tags: Beginning again., Finding balance, Starting over

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Categories New beginnings, Self-care, Self-love, Toxic Friendships

Who Is The Fairest Of Them All?

19 Sep

Snow White. (Thanks Gabrielle Laubscher for the photo of your princess.)

You are of course!

I forced myself to watch an episode of “botched up bodies” to remind myself just how rotten the consequences can be when people become repulsed with what they deem to be unacceptable about themselves.

For some, there is still such intense pressure to conform to an ideal standard of beauty. It’s everywhere. Even in the fruit aisle at the supermarket. If it’s too organic looking with a lump or a bump or a spot, out it goes. Most times it doesn’t even get to go on display even though it’s bursting with deliciousness.

It seems so villanous to banish anyone worth loving because they might have flabby arms, a jelly belly, a bald head, or a flailing bank balance.

I hope that we can all learn to be more gentle, more accommodating, and place less emphasis on beauty and begin to celebrate other important things that reside within, like talent, smartness and wisdom.

What do you think? Does there seem to be an increased demand or pressure for people and things to be more perfect and how do you feel about it?

Tags: perfection, Self-acceptance, Snow White