Leanne French Relationship Expert & Counsellor

Create Calm.

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It’s one of our basic needs, the need for security, which is triggering fear in many people. Although many things are out of our control, we need to keep working at reducing and releasing fear, panic and anxiety because it over activates our flight-or-fight mode. When we are in what I call Meerkat Mode, our body wants to take constant action. Because present circumstances make that a bit restrictive, it’s possible that the tension that builds as a result of being ready to pounce on problems begins to physically hurt a little. It could also be the reason that people are getting ants in their pants and pushing the boundaries of their bubbles.

Calming our mind and soothing our system is not a luxury thing to do, it’s vital. It Continue reading →

Tags: body scan meditation, Calm, chill out, covid19, create calm, goodness influencer, how to calm children about the corona virus, how to emotionally manage isolation, jon kabit zinn, Meditation, Mindfulness, therapist

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Categories Counselling, Covid-19, Health, Mindfulness, Self-care

Ignite Hope.

31 Mar

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Hope and fear cannot occupy the same space – Maya Angelou

Hope is allowing ourselves a peek into a positive future. It’s about expecting and desiring that this will work out. It’s about believing that good things really do happen. It’s about remembering that magic exists, beauty surrounds us, and miracles are possible.

Hope lends us slivers of happiness which uplift us and make difficult situations easier to bear. Hope grows into optimism which encourages a positive belief that we really do have the inner power and strength to step into the unknown.

All the things we do for ourselves or with our children that are prevention measures, show we’re in control and can solve problems. When we’re proud of washing hands and wiping things down, when we celebrate covering our nose and mouth with a tissue or elbow when we cough or sneeze, when we follow the rules, we shoo away feelings of helplessness. Continue reading →

Tags: covid19, goodness influencer, how to emotionally manage isolation, ignite hope, keep hope alive, Leanne French Counsellor, therapist, why hope is important

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Categories Counselling, Covid-19, Health, Kindness, Save the World, Self-care

Inhale Courage. Exhale Fear.

30 Mar

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If posts about people cleaning cupboards, doing yoga, crafting, making preserves and cookies is causing you to worry or panic that you’re not in that “positive” space, breathe low and slow, and know that you are not alone. This isn’t a sprint to a predetermined finish line, it’s a marathon and we are all in it together.

Covid-19 has changed how the world works. It’s ok to pause and it’s more than ok to be experiencing grief (whether we recognize it or not) because the new reality is that there are people all over the globe that are sick or afraid of becoming sick. They have Continue reading →

Tags: courage, covid19, fear and anxiety, goodness influencer, how to breathe properly, how to emotionally manage isolation, hyperventilation syndrome, therapist

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Categories Covid-19, Health, Mindfulness, Save the World, Self-care

Tend and Befriend. Why Being Kind to Yourself Matters.

29 Mar

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Think of the last time someone criticized you, put you down, expressed disapproval or treated you poorly. Don’t linger on it though, because chances are it wasn’t very motivational or uplifting. Why? Because it’s demoralizing, elevates stress hormones, increases emotional reactivity, robs us of peace of mind and greatly reduces the quality of our day.

How dare they right? Well, how dare we do it to ourselves either! It’s like choosing a punishment over a reward.

In this unprecedented time we may have a lot more time by ourselves and Continue reading →

Tags: be kind to yourself, covid19, goodness influencer, how to manage isolation, Kindness, Leanne French Counsellor, tend and befriend, therapist, why being kind to yourself matters

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Categories Covid-19, Health, Kindness, Self-care, Self-love

One Day at a Time.

28 Mar

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It’s no wonder that Alcoholics Anonymous emphasize taking things one day at a time, because it helps make difficult changes more manageable.

Feeds are full of how to fill our time, even though some people might be run of their feet busier than usual, but what if you’re still in shock? Or, like me, feeling overwhelmed by the seriousness, not of the illness or isolation as such, but about our future after all of this, which today suddenly felt completely uncertain and a little bleak.

So here’s the thing. Uncertainty involving all-encompassing questions about the meaning and purpose of life and one’s place in the world in the future has an actual name. It’s known as Continue reading →

Tags: anxiety, covid19, existential anxiety, goodness influencer, how to manage isolation, Leanne French Counsellor, Mindfulness, overwhelm, therapist

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Categories Addiction, Counselling, Covid-19, Mindfulness, Self-care

Wherever You Go, There You Are.

27 Mar

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The government have asked for our support to protect New Zealand and eradicate COVID-19. An important restriction has been put in place, stay home, save lives and no surprises, two days in and the usual suspects have gone a little wild, flaunting the rules and looking for loopholes.

We often hope that others will think, behave, react and respond the way we do, but it doesn’t always work that way. Some of the rules are bound to get a little tighter when people who don’t like to be told what to do, go about their business, their way. They are just being who they are, but when the consequences affect the collective, it Continue reading →

Tags: covid19, goodness influencer, Jon Kabat Zinn, Leanne French Counsellor, lockdown, self isolation, stay in the bubble, therapist

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Categories Communication, Counselling, Covid-19, Health, Mindfulness

Ease into Uncertainty.

26 Mar

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Our NZ government declared a State of Emergency, and our current COVID-19 Alert Level is Level 4 also known as lockdown which is in place for four weeks or more. In summary, this means

Everyone must now stay home, except those providing essential services.
Only make physical contact with those that you live with.

It’s a normal, universal feeling to feel fear when faced with the unknown. As our news feeds fill with all kinds of stories, real, fake and funny, the reality is that 738 people died in one day in Spain yesterday, and 683 in Italy. It is vital that we all do our best to stick to the rules put in place to save lives and flatten the curve. The more careful we are, the sooner this thing will be over.

As a therapist, relationship expert and goodness influencer with 30 years of experience I’m here to help ease the possible psychological effects of these times. One of the first things to know is Continue reading →

Tags: covid19, goodness influencer, grief, how to emotionally manage isolation, Leanne French Counsellor, lockdown, therapist, uncertainty

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Categories Counselling, Covid-19, Health, Mindfulness, Save the World, Self-care

Eco-Grief & Eco-Anxiety. Help For A New Reality.

12 Jan

Eco-grief is the grief felt in response to experienced or anticipated ecological loss. Eco-anxiety is a chronic fear of environmental doom. Creeping environmental changes are now cascading ahead at a catastrophic pace and have been rightly upgraded to a climate emergency.

When our senses are inundated with a torrent of news, filled with the horror and sadness of global disasters, sensitive people begin to wobble and topple.

Scientists are telling us “like it is.” We need to listen. Dire warnings, horrific natural disasters, death, displaced people, species extinction, rising seas, soaring temperatures, extreme drought, diminished air quality, degradation of waterways and raging bushfires destroying trees, homes, animals, people and even those saving the Continue reading →

Tags: Australian fires, be the change, climate change, climate emergency, eco-anxiety, eco-grief, empathy, Leanne French Counsellor, Planet Earth, Save the World, Take action, therapist

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Categories Compassion, Counselling, Mindfulness, Passion and purpose, Save the World

Tis the Season. Will it Be Sensational or Stink?

7 Dec

Many Christmas’s in my life and yours too I imagine, have been so amazing, filled with love and tinsel, a sparkly stream of fabulous family, amazing food, children’s squeals, handmade goodies, laden Christmas trees, thoughtful presents, shared stories, goofy games and loud laughter.

Some are sensational and some are far from it. Some are just stink.

There are many reasons why some homes, some years, overflow with seasonal joy, and others not so much. Life can occasionally just fall apart at the seams. Illness, loss, geographical distance, natural disasters, conflicted family, depression, dementia, stress, divorce, addiction, lack of finances, not having a home, you name it, some

Continue reading →

Tags: Christmas, Christmas expectations, Difficuilt Christmas, How do I respond to pressure at Christmas time?, Leanne French Counsellor, Xmas wellbeing

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Categories Boundaries, Communication, Conflict resolution, Holiday celebrations

50 Reflective End of Year Family Questions.

3 Dec

How about introducing a new self reflective ritual into your family? As the year winds down it’s the perfect time to choose an evening or afternoon to gather together and consider things like: How was the past year? What worked and what did not work so well? What do I want to create in the year to come?

Continue reading →

Tags: family, goal setting, Leanne French Counsellor, Mangawhai Counsellor, Northland relationship counsellor, questions to consider, self reflection, telehealth counsellor