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Ignite Hope.

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Hope and fear cannot occupy the same space – Maya Angelou

Hope is allowing ourselves a peek into a positive future. It’s about expecting and desiring that this will work out. It’s about believing that good things really do happen. It’s about remembering that magic exists, beauty surrounds us, and miracles are possible.

Hope lends us slivers of happiness which uplift us and make difficult situations easier to bear. Hope grows into optimism which encourages a positive belief that we really do have the inner power and strength to step into the unknown.

All the things we do for ourselves or with our children that are prevention measures, show we’re in control and can solve problems. When we’re proud of washing hands and wiping things down, when we celebrate covering our nose and mouth with a tissue or elbow when we cough or sneeze, when we follow the rules, we shoo away feelings of helplessness. Continue reading →

Tags: covid19, goodness influencer, how to emotionally manage isolation, ignite hope, keep hope alive, Leanne French Counsellor, therapist, why hope is important

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Categories Counselling, Covid-19, Health, Kindness, Save the World, Self-care

One Day at a Time.

28 Mar

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It’s no wonder that Alcoholics Anonymous emphasize taking things one day at a time, because it helps make difficult changes more manageable.

Feeds are full of how to fill our time, even though some people might be run of their feet busier than usual, but what if you’re still in shock? Or, like me, feeling overwhelmed by the seriousness, not of the illness or isolation as such, but about our future after all of this, which today suddenly felt completely uncertain and a little bleak.

So here’s the thing. Uncertainty involving all-encompassing questions about the meaning and purpose of life and one’s place in the world in the future has an actual name. It’s known as Continue reading →

Tags: anxiety, covid19, existential anxiety, goodness influencer, how to manage isolation, Leanne French Counsellor, Mindfulness, overwhelm, therapist

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Categories Addiction, Counselling, Covid-19, Mindfulness, Self-care

Wherever You Go, There You Are.

27 Mar

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The government have asked for our support to protect New Zealand and eradicate COVID-19. An important restriction has been put in place, stay home, save lives and no surprises, two days in and the usual suspects have gone a little wild, flaunting the rules and looking for loopholes.

We often hope that others will think, behave, react and respond the way we do, but it doesn’t always work that way. Some of the rules are bound to get a little tighter when people who don’t like to be told what to do, go about their business, their way. They are just being who they are, but when the consequences affect the collective, it Continue reading →

Tags: covid19, goodness influencer, Jon Kabat Zinn, Leanne French Counsellor, lockdown, self isolation, stay in the bubble, therapist

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Categories Communication, Counselling, Covid-19, Health, Mindfulness

Ease into Uncertainty.

26 Mar

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Our NZ government declared a State of Emergency, and our current COVID-19 Alert Level is Level 4 also known as lockdown which is in place for four weeks or more. In summary, this means

Everyone must now stay home, except those providing essential services.
Only make physical contact with those that you live with.

It’s a normal, universal feeling to feel fear when faced with the unknown. As our news feeds fill with all kinds of stories, real, fake and funny, the reality is that 738 people died in one day in Spain yesterday, and 683 in Italy. It is vital that we all do our best to stick to the rules put in place to save lives and flatten the curve. The more careful we are, the sooner this thing will be over.

As a therapist, relationship expert and goodness influencer with 30 years of experience I’m here to help ease the possible psychological effects of these times. One of the first things to know is Continue reading →

Tags: covid19, goodness influencer, grief, how to emotionally manage isolation, Leanne French Counsellor, lockdown, therapist, uncertainty

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Categories Counselling, Covid-19, Health, Mindfulness, Save the World, Self-care

Eco-Grief & Eco-Anxiety. Help For A New Reality.

12 Jan

Eco-grief is the grief felt in response to experienced or anticipated ecological loss. Eco-anxiety is a chronic fear of environmental doom. Creeping environmental changes are now cascading ahead at a catastrophic pace and have been rightly upgraded to a climate emergency.

When our senses are inundated with a torrent of news, filled with the horror and sadness of global disasters, sensitive people begin to wobble and topple.

Scientists are telling us “like it is.” We need to listen. Dire warnings, horrific natural disasters, death, displaced people, species extinction, rising seas, soaring temperatures, extreme drought, diminished air quality, degradation of waterways and raging bushfires destroying trees, homes, animals, people and even those saving the Continue reading →

Tags: Australian fires, be the change, climate change, climate emergency, eco-anxiety, eco-grief, empathy, Leanne French Counsellor, Planet Earth, Save the World, Take action, therapist

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Categories Compassion, Counselling, Mindfulness, Passion and purpose, Save the World

What To Do If Your Boundaries Aren’t Respected.

20 Dec

image from myinsidejobonlife

Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others. Brene Brown.

Boundaries are guidelines put in place to encourage emotional and physical safety and are created by people who respect their own strengths, abilities and individuality as well as those of others.

Most of us are pretty clear about our distinct values, beliefs, psychological needs and preferences. Knowing who we are in our inner world and how we want to live in our outer world is a healthy and empowered way to be.

The imaginary line we draw around us to say this is who I am and these are the things that are important to me are not always respected by

habitual advantage takers
chaos and catastrophe addicts
drama makers with no self behaviour filters
the overly needy who expect you to save and solve their constant problems
people who are overly invested or amazed by you after only knowing you a short time
poor listeners
shame and blame throwers
judgemental disapproving types
manipulators, abusers and bullies.

The distress we feel when a boundary is violated is a message to protect ourselves and a signal to clearly express to bothersome people that there are things we don’t want them to do or say to us, one moment longer. When we set a limit or say no, or stop or don’t, it should count. We can state our feelings and wants and needs clearly, and set Continue reading →

Tags: Boundary setting, How to deal with difficult people, How to set boundaries, Leanne French Counsellor, Respect, Violating boundaries, What are boundaries, What can I do if someone crosses my boundaries, Why are boundaries important

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Categories Boundaries, Communication, Conflict resolution, Counselling, Relationship advice, Toxic Friendships

Finding Hidden Treasure.

17 May

One of the reasons why being in therapy uncovers truth and causes discomfort so readily for people, is because it takes place in unfamiliar surroundings, with an unfamiliar person.

The therapist’s care, compassion, and intense focus on you can actually make it easier to find hidden treasure. When they focus on you and you focus on yourself, it makes it more difficult to become distracted or sidetracked. In fairytales, it’s akin to finding yourself alone in a dark cave or deep woods. Without distraction it’s so much easier to see how you operate. It also enables exploration of outcomes and Continue reading →

Tags: Finding balance, Hidden treasure, Therapy