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Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others. Brene Brown.
Boundaries are guidelines put in place to encourage emotional and physical safety and are created by people who respect their own strengths, abilities and individuality as well as those of others.
Most of us are pretty clear about our distinct values, beliefs, psychological needs and preferences. Knowing who we are in our inner world and how we want to live in our outer world is a healthy and empowered way to be.
The imaginary line we draw around us to say this is who I am and these are the things that are important to me are not always respected by
- habitual advantage takers
- chaos and catastrophe addicts
- drama makers with no self behaviour filters
- the overly needy who expect you to save and solve their constant problems
- people who are overly invested or amazed by you after only knowing you a short time
- poor listeners
- shame and blame throwers
- judgemental disapproving types
- manipulators, abusers and bullies.
The distress we feel when a boundary is violated is a message to protect ourselves and a signal to clearly express to bothersome people that there are things we don’t want them to do or say to us, one moment longer. When we set a limit or say no, or stop or don’t, it should count. We can state our feelings and wants and needs clearly, and set Continue reading
Leanne French Relationship Expert & Counsellor 