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Shine On.

8 Apr

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If the light within you is greater than the darkness around you, you are a star. Matshona Dhliwayo.

The full, ‘pink’ super moon which just so happens to be the brightest and boldest of the year, is not the only thing with the power to illuminate. We can all be light filled agents of change who spread love, generosity and kindness into the world. 

Let’s brighten our day by peeking into the positives.

  • There are extraordinary experts who are keeping us informed and shedding light on what matters.
  • Inventors and makers are busting their butts, accomplishing amazing things that contrast the black backdrop of virus doom.
  • Investors are donating dollars to incentives.
  • Growers are keeping food and jobs alive.
  • Food producers and suppliers are finding delivery options making sure we stay nourished. 
  • Entertainers are shining a light on various new ways to connect us with their art.
  • Front line and essential workers are beyond heroic right now.
  • Bored children are inviting parents to be brighter versions of themselves by joining in with their fun activities.
  • There’s a glow of gorgeousness that radiates from tiny toddlers trying their hand at all kinds of stuff. 
  • Reporters and newspeople are out and about shining their light into what we all miss the most, which accentuates the things we value and highlights what we need to feel secure.
  • Positive, online community pages light us up with laughter, shared culinary delights, and helpful blogs.

Continue reading

Hang in There.

7 Apr

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Most of us have had a time or two or three in our lives where a situation bought us crashing to our knees, and everything changed in an instant.

When we couldn’t calm the storm, it passed. When we thought the fear and the flow of tears would never stop, they actually did. When our castles crumbled, they got rebuilt. When our scars healed, they were stronger than skin.

Events may differ, but those that hold the potential to disrupt life as we know it, need acceptance and require us to control the parts we can and let go of what we can’t. 

Hanging in requires time to pass. For patience and co-operation. For feelings to be Continue reading

Dig Deep.

6 Apr

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Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. Victor Frankl.

While I’m not asking you to carefully craft all of your conversations, if you’re finding it challenging being confined in closer circumstances for longer periods of time than you are used to, and conflict is causing concern, it could be beneficial to learn how to respond rather than react. Especially if you want to create a more emotionally comforting bubble to hang out in.

Choosing our response is about making sure it’s calm, considered, conscious and in line with our core values. It’s driven by wanting to get the best out of a situation for ourselves and others. Responding is more about actively taking our time to work out what Continue reading

Rest. Relax. Recharge.

5 Apr

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If we want to live a wholehearted life, we have to become intentional about cultivating rest and play, and we must work to let go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self worth. Brene Brown.

Rest is when we shift from deliberate and effort filled thinking, to a more effortless, playful, peaceful, aimless wandering and daydreaming state.

Rest lowers our heart rate, stress and shoulders.

One of the most interesting things about rest is that it’s usually about carving out a wee chunk of solitary time, versus relaxing, which is able to be done in the Continue reading

Create Calm.

1 Apr

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It’s one of our basic needs, the need for security, which is triggering fear in many people. Although many things are out of our control, we need to keep working at reducing and releasing fear, panic and anxiety because it over activates our flight-or-fight mode. When we are in what I call Meerkat Mode, our body wants to take constant action. Because present circumstances make that a bit restrictive, it’s possible that the tension that builds as a result of being ready to pounce on problems begins to physically hurt a little. It could also be the reason that people are getting ants in their pants and pushing the boundaries of their bubbles. 

Calming our mind and soothing our system is not a luxury thing to do, it’s vital. It Continue reading

Ignite Hope.

31 Mar

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Hope and fear cannot occupy the same space – Maya Angelou

Hope is allowing ourselves a peek into a positive future. It’s about expecting and desiring that this will work out. It’s about believing that good things really do happen. It’s about remembering that magic exists, beauty surrounds us, and miracles are possible.

Hope lends us slivers of happiness which uplift us and make difficult situations easier to bear. Hope grows into optimism which encourages a positive belief that we really do have the inner power and strength to step into the unknown.

All the things we do for ourselves or with our children that are prevention measures,  show we’re in control and can solve problems. When we’re proud of washing hands and wiping things down, when we celebrate covering our nose and mouth with a tissue or elbow when we cough or sneeze, when we follow the rules, we shoo away feelings of helplessness.  Continue reading

Inhale Courage. Exhale Fear.

30 Mar

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If posts about people cleaning cupboards, doing yoga, crafting, making preserves and cookies is causing you to worry or panic that you’re not in that “positive” space, breathe low and slow, and know that you are not alone. This isn’t a sprint to a predetermined finish line, it’s a marathon and we are all in it together.

Covid-19 has changed how the world works. It’s ok to pause and it’s more than ok to be experiencing grief (whether we recognize it or not) because the new reality is that there are people all over the globe that are sick or afraid of becoming sick. They have Continue reading

Tend and Befriend. Why Being Kind to Yourself Matters.

29 Mar

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Think of the last time someone criticized you, put you down, expressed disapproval or treated you poorly. Don’t linger on it though, because chances are it wasn’t very motivational or uplifting. Why? Because it’s demoralizing, elevates stress hormones, increases emotional reactivity, robs us of peace of mind and greatly reduces the quality of our day.

How dare they right? Well, how dare we do it to ourselves either! It’s like choosing a punishment over a reward.

In this unprecedented time we may have a lot more time by ourselves and Continue reading

Wherever You Go, There You Are.

27 Mar

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The government have asked for our support to protect New Zealand and eradicate COVID-19. An important restriction has been put in place, stay home, save lives and no surprises, two days in and the usual suspects have gone a little wild, flaunting the rules and looking for loopholes.

We often hope that others will think, behave, react and respond the way we do, but it doesn’t always work that way. Some of the rules are bound to get a little tighter when people who don’t like to be told what to do, go about their business, their way. They are just being who they are, but when the consequences affect the collective, it Continue reading

Ease into Uncertainty.

26 Mar

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Our NZ government declared a State of Emergency, and our current COVID-19 Alert Level is Level 4 also known as lockdown which is in place for four weeks or more. In summary, this means

  • Everyone must now stay home, except those providing essential services.
  • Only make physical contact with those that you live with.

It’s a normal, universal feeling to feel fear when faced with the unknown. As our news feeds fill with all kinds of stories, real, fake and funny, the reality is that 738 people died in one day in Spain yesterday, and 683 in Italy. It is vital that we all do our best to stick to the rules put in place to save lives and flatten the curve. The more careful we are, the sooner this thing will be over.

As a therapist, relationship expert and goodness influencer with 30 years of experience I’m here to help ease the possible psychological effects of these times. One of the first things to know is Continue reading