Finding Beauty.

30 Nov

Golden light fills the clouds and turns them the colour of toffee.  I feel a gentle breeze stirring and I’m thankful that for an early evening in autumn it’s still warm enough to sit outside. I catch a glimpse of how the early snow sits, like tears in wrinkles on the blackened mountain ranges that today seem closer. A mower drones on in the yard next door as a plastic bag dances in a unexpected puff of wind marching in from the south.

toffee sunset-photo by Greg Keith

I take a moment to capture the blessings this ever-changing landscape offers. It never fails to entertain and delight me in the simplest of ways.

The scent of a roasting chicken reaches my nostrils and I giggle. It drives our vegetarian son out of the house muttering something about his saliva daring to threaten his new found beliefs.

I place my hand on my heart and take it all in, this richness of color, this Continue reading →

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Get Thee To A Fairy Godmother.

23 Nov

For exactly half of my life now, I have devoted a lot of time working with individuals and couples, transforming difficult problems in imaginative ways, so I am a great believer in seeking creative solutions in times of stuckness. Looking outside of yourself and your relationship, sooner rather than later, for someone who uses their magic to coach, advise, counsel and support you, can be the difference between loving forever after and broken dreams.

A fairy & me at my fairy party when I turned 35 – photo by Hayley French

In Fairytales, a Fairy Godmother is a fairy with magical powers that is in charge of mentoring. She is someone who takes a particular interest in the upbringing and personal development of a select group of people that come under her umbrella of care. Times have changed so much. People don’t have or don’t make the time to be really present in that kind of way for others anymore. Our society hollers ‘Stay busy!’ ‘Distraction is good!’ ‘Disconnection is even better! ‘Drink this and all will be well,’ none of which create the space to be Godparent like towards Continue reading →

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That’s Just Nonsense.

9 Nov
The loveliest Owl and the Pussycat book and illustrations by Kevin Waldron.

The Owl and the Pussycat is a famous nonsense poem, written in 1871 by artist and poet Edward Lear about two critters who went to sea in a beautiful pea green boat. His words, as absurd as they are, have the ability to conjure up strong images. What’s so interesting about reading anything created by someone else, is that our response is personal to us, and is coloured, either positively or negatively in some way by our own story.

Three different people with different outlooks and beliefs could close their eyes and see an owl and a pussycat getting married by a turkey and come up with three entirely different views and opinions. Unless the opinions are uplifting, inspiring, supportive and add to the enjoyment of the owl and the pussycat getting married by a turkey, maybe we all need to learn that it makes more sense to keep them to oneself?

Continue reading →

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Most Powerful Genie Wish Ever.

2 Nov
Photo by RODNAE Productions on Pexels.com

Many women say they wish their partners could be more this or more that. When I ask them if they think their partner was given those things as a child, the answer is generally a resounding no.

The aim here is not to blame or shame or parent bash. We all know everyone does the best job they can with the wisdom they have at the time. All children will conjure up their own particular unmet need no matter how fabulous their parents are or were.

When we can identity the particular positive, affirming words and behaviours we longed to hear and experience as children, we can understand why we still hunger for these same things as adults, and it gives us a very good clue as to why we may find it almost impossible to give our loved ones what we never got.

The single most magical thing that you can generously do for you beloved, is to be their genie and do your best to give them what they have always wished and longed for. Continue reading →

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Let Down Your Golden Hair.

26 Oct

Tower time. An excerpt from my book.

Physical and emotional solitude is splendidly beneficial for the renewal and healing of our minds, hearts and souls. Towers are symbolic places to go to set things right. When we position ourselves aside from dastardly distractions and duties, we reconnect with our essence and helpful, creative ideas bubble up from the serenity and remind us how to re-engage sumptuously with life.

Rapunzel

Take the opportunity freely, rather than have some evil witch throw you in a locked turret, imprisoning you, forcing you to spend time alone.

Silence clears away the rubble, the critic, the negativity and the crushing pressure of an overloaded life. What you do with the peace and serenity is up to you. You could simply Continue reading →

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In The Jungle, The Mighty Jungle.

19 Oct

There is a common trap that difficult people set for us in the jungle, a trap that we need to slow down enough to recognize, and be courageous enough to deal with in a new way, or it will have us falling right into a hole too deep to dig ourselves out of.

Trap setters don’t do vulnerability. Instead, they do blame and whirling storms of shame. Their behaviours invite avoidance and reactivity and eventual hostility.

Trap setters hide behind overly intense demanding comments such as: Continue reading →

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Why Inspiration Is Everything.

12 Oct

Whether we trip over it by accident, or intentionally seek it out, inspiration is one of the most fulfilling ingredients of life. It invites a deeper sense of connection, a stronger sense of belonging and throws us a lifeline that links us to our particular tribe.

monarch butterfly up close

Fascination beckons us to step closer, to lean in, to listen, to look, to drink in the beauty, to marvel at and become enchanted by. If we keep paying attention, something will eventually roar right at us and resonate with the raw passion that lives within. You will know when it awakens, it will make your heart sing, give you goosebumps, bring a tear to your eye, make you giggle with delight and leave you hungry for more.

Inspiration arouses interest, enriches and enlivens. It’s like a relay race. We take what we get given, put our own slant on it, burst forward with productivity and creativity, and pass it forward which in turn inspires others.

Bite size pieces of inspiration are like dragon food. They feed our starving souls and fiery imaginations and drive us forward on our own passionate path fueling us to further engage in new possibilities, to create more ferociously and love more fiercely.

What inspires you?

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Five Ways To Fight Fairly.

5 Oct
  1. Conjure up calmness. Hit your mute button. Press your palms against a hard surface to release tension, count to ten and breathe low and slow into your belly.
  2. Remember why you love each other.
  3. Be willing to see your beloved’s vulnerable self, and come from that place within yourself.
  4. Hear what they have to say with open ears and an open heart rather than defending or justifying your position. Ask this question: What specifically do you need from me in order to feel better?
  5. Manage your words and behaviours. Be absolutely aware of what you could do or say that would escalate the situation or hurt the person, and always choose a respectful reply.

    fireworks photo by Hayley French

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